…like many surfaces of an attempt
for Schallfeld ensemble (2018)
This piece is about the distance between musical events and the difficulties posed in making connections between them. However, connections between them still somehow exist. They have to be searched for, invented, discovered. There is something disturbing in that process, but also calming. In the second part of the piece I use a text that I wrote, which gives the listeners new opportunities for constructing the flow of the music and deciphering its meaning.
Text:
What if we meet and I fall in love?
What if we meet and we don’t like each other?
What if we meet and we like each other
so much, that we can not
breathe?
What if we meet and you start to hate me?
What if we meet and you are boring to me?
What if we meet and I seem old to you?
What if we meet and you like me more?
What if we meet and I like you more?
What if we meet and you fuck me
so hard, that I don’t wanna
talk?
What if we meet and I don’t like your smell?
What if we meet and you’re not impressed
with my body?
What if we meet and you say something wrong
something stupid
something cruel?
What if we meet and you scare me?
What if we meet and we don’t understand
each other?
What if we meet and it’s raining
so heavily
that we have to stay inside and fuck
all the time
and hug all the time
and talk all the time?
What if we meet and it’s sunny
so beautiful
that we have to kiss on the grass
all the time
hide from other people all the time
smile at each other
all the time?
What if we meet and I hate the way you smoke
the way you walk
the way you’re touching me?
What if we meet and you don’t like my thoughts,
my worlds, my colors of the
rainbow?
What if we meet and we realize that we
are two different galaxies?
What if we meet and I feel that I’m not
enough for you?
What if we meet and it gets awkward?
What if we meet and I get anxious?
What if we meet and you faint?
What if we meet and …?
………
……
….
What if we never meet?
Sonja Mutić
First performance: May 26, 2018, impuls Minutenkonzerte
esc kunst medien labor Graz
Schallfeld ensemble:
Myriam García Fidalgo violoncello
Matej Bunderla saxophone
Szilárd Benes bass clarinet
Juan Pablo Trad Hasbun double bass
Davide Gagliardi sound